Thursday, November 12, 2015

The 5 Worst Video Game Movies Ever Made


5 Worst Video games
Do you love video games?  Do you love movies?  Do you appreciate it when your favorite video games are made into blockbuster movies?  It's really a tricky matter.   It takes just the right finesse to convert over anyone's favorite video game into the motion picture arena.  It's been tried so many times, and while there have been a few that have crossed-over successfully, there have been many that have failed both critically and at the box office.    You really have to wonder exactly how a video game is chosen for a cross-over?  Is it as simple that the ease of rights obtained for the video game film, or is it that there just might something that appeals to the film-maker about that particular video game?    If the latter was true, can you imagine what Uwe Boll was inspired by when he chose to make House of the Dead into a movie?   The mind boggles...
 
What follows are the 5 worst video game movies ever made (in no particular order):
 


max payne (2008)
Max Payne (2008)
Someone once said the following: "You can perfume on a pig to make it smell better, but at the end of the day, it's still a pig..."   Which is why the mind boggles when you consider that Max Payne, an amazing video game with a ton of mood and atmosphere failed so miserably in the end at the box office and amongst fans of Payne and video game films.   Considered by some to a "neo-noir," considered by others to be "loosely-based" on the game itself--Mark Wahlberg brings Payne to the big screen.    While the film did make some money at the box office in its opening weekend, in the end the film drifted off into video game obscurity in the wake of its home video premiere.      At the of the day, it just isn't a very good film.  It's missing what the game has, even though, that is difficult to pin-point.
 

house of the dead (2003)
House of the Dead (2003)
Directed by Uwe Boll, and perhaps, serving as the catalyst for many's dislike of the German film-maker, House of the Dead is a disaster.   As many critics and videogamers have pointed that out, the film, none the less, has a elusive quality to it, that like a car wreck on the side of the road--it doesn't allow us to look away from it even though we should.     Filled with laughs in all the wrong places, House of the Dead was actually a money-maker in the end, as the film had an initial budget (rumored) of $12 million dollars and has since its release, made over $13 million dollars.    Kudos to Uwe Boll, who has admitted where he went wrong with the film, and has since released a comedy version of the film.  
 
Hitman (2007)

Hitman (2007)
Released in 2007, Hitman, a video game saga revolving around a assassin created by a secret group of scientists to infiltrate the political spectrum, turns on the run from the Russians.   The film, although a critical disaster, managed to make money.  Likely this came as a result of the film being kicked around and promoted heavily when it came through to home video on DVD.  The film was plagued will all sorts of production problems from the word "go."    Actor Vin Diesel, not Shaq Diesel, was originally slated to play the hitman, only to drop out in the last hours to do something else. Re-shoots followed after the end of principal photography and while a sequel had already been given the green light, in the end, it was canceled before it could start production.   In this situations, the films rarely turn out to be anything worth its own salt, and Hitman proved no exception to the rule.   The critics hated it, and so did many fans of the Hitman video game.
 

Wing Commander (1999)
Wing Commander (1999)
Another video game movie that features Jürgen Prochnow!  Produced by 20th Century Fox, and arguably, one of the first video game movies...Wing Commander is based on the best-selling Nintendo 64 title which was directed by the game's creator Chris Roberts.    You would think that with the game's creator at the helm that things couldn't go wrong, but think again.  Firstly, the film is horribly cast with Freddie Prinze Jr.   So, right there you know you're in trouble.  There's a reason why he left acting to become a director with World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE).    The film tanked at the box office, the critics hated it, and in the end, fans of Wing Commander were simply let down and took to criticizing it for Roberts decision to alter the visual style of the games in the film itself.   All-in-all, not true to the video game of the late '90s that many loved.  
 

Alone in the Dark (2000)
Alone in the Dark (2000)
The ultimate in bad video game adaptations!     If you've noticed anything over the course of this list, it's that video game movies, for whatever reason, most always get a bad rep with movie critics across the United States.  It never helps when something like Alone in the Dark is released, which did no good in showing critics that video games can make great movies as well.  A utter failure at the box office, a bomb, if you will, Alone in the Dark consists of an awful script, poor acting on the behalf of Tara Reid, and it barely resembles a video game that fans loved when it was released--so much so that it spawned several game sequels!     How did this go all so terribly wrong, we ask?