Every year there are the most winningest films that grace
the silver screen (typically big money productions cavorting A-list superstars
that have serious drawing power). And then there are the big screen busts
(which commonly also happen to be big budget productions, thus heightening the
odds). For every film that sees a fat return, there is the doppelganger effect
that purports a large percentage of films will lose out. As Part Two in our
Year in Review, we’ll take a look back at the haphazard misses and epic big
screen fails that probably bankrupted a few would-be executive producers over
the past year.
A film that featured oddly shaped characters in their big
balloon adventure didn’t fare to well in the US, and was not received well by
audiences; who barely even bought tickets. An adventure to find five magical
balloons netted the maker of this flopper a meager return and a big time loss.
A Thousand Words
This movie could better be titled as: A Thousand Ways to Lose
. When Jack
McCall (Eddie Murphy) discovers a magical Bodhi tree on his property
, his life
is turned upside down.
He begins to
learn that there are consequences for the words we say (you don’t say?); and
also that there are consequences for movies that lose more than $20 million at
the box office.
Gross: $18,438,149 (USA)
It’s odd how Hollywood thinks that by remaking a movie
that previously flopped into an even lamer 3D movie that it won’t flop again. (Really?)
That’s what we like to call a pair of flip-flops. The intrinsically void plot
didn’t change, complimented by even worse acting than the first film. 3D action
doesn’t negate a $37 million windfall at the box office. Stallone must be musing.
Gross: $13,401,683 (USA)
Saving gray whales: very notable effort. Getting trapped
by unbelievable rapid expanding Arctic ice: reminiscent of boring. In spite of
credible big screen talent (John Krasinski and Drew Barrymore), the only thing
icy was the cold lack of movie-goers that promptly skipped this flick.
Gross: $19,966,230 (USA)
What happens when Paul Rudd and Jennifer Aniston try to
embrace a free-love commune: perhaps the lamest movie of the year, that’s what.
And who says the number 13 is unlucky? Telling of that connotation is the
roughly $13 million this movie lost when it got whacked at the box office.
Budget: $30 million
Gross: $17,115,650 (USA)
Rock of Ages
Even Tom Cruise
and Alec Baldwin couldn’t save this movie from a straight beeline to the
bargain bin at the DVD store. Based upon a winning musical, the crossover to
the silver screen didn’t fare so well. It’s better titled as: Flop of Ages.
People Like Us
When a salesperson becomes executor of his late father’s
estate, he suddenly finds a sister he was never even aware existed. If that
wasn’t boring enough, there’s plenty of random character building for no
reason. The box office numbers quaintly demonstrate that people just didn’t
relate to: People Like Us.
Gross: $12,412,386 (USA)
That's My Boy
Note to self: just because I did well on Saturday NightLive
doesn’t mean I will do well at the box office. In fact, most SNL films
have epically failed at the box office, save for those from a very sordidly few
stars. This movie highlights the nomenclature of epic fails associated with SNL
big league films. This time to the tune of more than $24 million.
Cost: $70 million
Gross: $36,931,089 (USA)
A bicyclist, an odd envelope and a dirty cop chasing him…
are you bored yet? That’s how most
people felt when they failed to even buy a ticket for this flopper that lost
more than $15 million at the big screen. The reworked post release title: Premium Bust.
Gross: $20,275,445 (USA)
A fabulous performance by Cuba Gooding Jr. wasn’t enough
to save this monotonous WWII flying film. While an interesting look at the
African American pilots of WWII, the movie
felt like nothing more than Memphis Bell II
(which was never made
for a reason).
Gross: $49,875,589 (USA)
Wishing you all a Happy New Year!