Saturday, January 5, 2013

A Year in Review Part Two: The Shoddiest Silver Screen Busts of 2012

Every year there are the most winningest films that grace the silver screen (typically big money productions cavorting A-list superstars that have serious drawing power). And then there are the big screen busts (which commonly also happen to be big budget productions, thus heightening the odds). For every film that sees a fat return, there is the doppelganger effect that purports a large percentage of films will lose out. As Part Two in our Year in Review, we’ll take a look back at the haphazard misses and epic big screen fails that probably bankrupted a few would-be executive producers over the past year.

The Oogieloves In The Big Balloon Adventure
A film that featured oddly shaped characters in their big balloon adventure didn’t fare to well in the US, and was not received well by audiences; who barely even bought tickets. An adventure to find five magical balloons netted the maker of this flopper a meager return and a big time loss.
Budget: $12,000,000
Gross: $1,064,277(USA)

A Thousand Words
This movie could better be titled as: A Thousand Ways to Lose. When Jack McCall (Eddie Murphy) discovers a magical Bodhi tree on his property, his life is turned upside down.  He begins to learn that there are consequences for the words we say (you don’t say?); and also that there are consequences for movies that lose more than $20 million at the box office.
Budget: $40,000,000
Gross: $18,438,149 (USA)

Dredd 3D
It’s odd how Hollywood thinks that by remaking a movie that previously flopped into an even lamer 3D movie that it won’t flop again. (Really?) That’s what we like to call a pair of flip-flops. The intrinsically void plot didn’t change, complimented by even worse acting than the first film. 3D action doesn’t negate a $37 million windfall at the box office. Stallone must be musing.   
Budget: $50,000,000
Gross: $13,401,683 (USA)

Big Miracle
Saving gray whales: very notable effort. Getting trapped by unbelievable rapid expanding Arctic ice: reminiscent of boring. In spite of credible big screen talent (John Krasinski and Drew Barrymore), the only thing icy was the cold lack of movie-goers that promptly skipped this flick.
Budget: $40,000,000
Gross: $19,966,230 (USA)

Wanderlust
What happens when Paul Rudd and Jennifer Aniston try to embrace a free-love commune: perhaps the lamest movie of the year, that’s what. And who says the number 13 is unlucky? Telling of that connotation is the roughly $13 million this movie lost when it got whacked at the box office.
Budget: $30 million
Gross: $17,115,650 (USA)

Rock of Ages
Even Tom Cruise and Alec Baldwin couldn’t save this movie from a straight beeline to the bargain bin at the DVD store. Based upon a winning musical, the crossover to the silver screen didn’t fare so well. It’s better titled as: Flop of Ages.
Budget: $75,000,000
Gross:$38,509,342 (USA)

People Like Us
When a salesperson becomes executor of his late father’s estate, he suddenly finds a sister he was never even aware existed. If that wasn’t boring enough, there’s plenty of random character building for no reason. The box office numbers quaintly demonstrate that people just didn’t relate to: People Like Us.
Budget: $16,000,000
Gross: $12,412,386 (USA)

That's My Boy
Note to self: just because I did well on Saturday NightLive doesn’t mean I will do well at the box office. In fact, most SNL films have epically failed at the box office, save for those from a very sordidly few stars. This movie highlights the nomenclature of epic fails associated with SNL big league films. This time to the tune of more than $24 million.
Cost: $70 million
Gross: $36,931,089 (USA)

Premium Rush
A bicyclist, an odd envelope and a dirty cop chasing him… are you bored yet? That’s how most people felt when they failed to even buy a ticket for this flopper that lost more than $15 million at the big screen. The reworked post release title: Premium Bust.
Budget: $35,000,000
Gross: $20,275,445 (USA)

Red Tails
A fabulous performance by Cuba Gooding Jr. wasn’t enough to save this monotonous WWII flying film. While an interesting look at the African American pilots of WWII, the movie felt like nothing more than Memphis Bell II (which was never made for a reason).
Budget: $58,000,000
Gross: $49,875,589 (USA)

Wishing you all a Happy New Year!