Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Top Ten Christopher Walken Lines from His Most Memorable Movies and Skits

The iconic genius that is Christopher Walken is far more omnipresent in media than most people would presume. In fact, the great Walken – who is best known, perhaps, for his witty satire, trademark wink and grin, and nonchalant aperture and signature vocal delivery – has also starred in more than 100 roles – “wow” (says the blogger in a perfect Walken imitation) – over the years. Now most of you may think of Walken when you think of the “Best of Saturday Night Live” skit where he demanded more “Cow Bell” from a chubby Will Ferrell who played the sole proprietor of the over redundant sound of cowbell from the hit Blue Oyster Cult track, “Don’t Fear the Reaper.” (Really, listen to the track, there is WAY too much COWBELL!)

That aside, however, the great Walken himself, has done far more superior things, and delivered much wittier and satirical – as well as dramatic – performances than his SNL trademarked skit; which has become, ironically, as much as of a “cult classic” as the band’s hit they were mocking (Blue Oyster Cult). Indeed, when you recant the many films that Walken has starred in, it’s rather shocking how impressive his resume and career portfolio truly is. So needless to say, it was not all that easy to come up with these top ten lines from his best flicks. Fortunately for this blogger, Walken has starred in more dramas, thrillers, comedies and romances than most other actors—which did make this search a little less tiresome.

Needles to say, it was a fun little poke down Walken’s memory lane, where the workings of one cinema’s greatest actors was rekindled, and the love for Walken reignited (not that it ever dwindled, as I did watch that SNL “Best Of” skit about a week ago on Netflix, which is why the big “W” is still stuck in my head.) By the way, while I am rambling on here, don’t forget to get your hands on some awesome Christopher Walken T-shirts that we have in stock, which can help you grind out a laugh or two with your buds over the man with the signature voice and body language.

So without further ado – may I present to you the top ten Walken lines ever … and I will also leave you with a priceless and timeless video, too.


“I won’t bite… not where it shows.”

2. The Rundown:
“I feel like a little boy who’s lost his first tooth, put it under his pillow, waiting for the tooth-fairy to come. Only two evil burglars have crept in my window, and snatched it, before she could get here… Wait a second, do you understand the CONCEPT of the tooth-fairy? Explain it to them… Wait. She takes the god damned thing, and gives you a quarter. They’ve got my tooth. I want it back.”

“Hey! You're talking to my guy all wrong. It's the wrong tone. You do it again, I'll stab you in the face with a soldering iron.”

4. Saturday Night Live: Best of Christopher Walken:

“I got a FEVER! And the only prescription...is MORE COWBELL!”

5. Catch Me if You Can:

“Two little mice fell in a bucket of cream. The first mouse quickly gave up and drowned. The second mouse, wouldn’t quit. He struggled so hard that eventually he churned that cream into butter and crawled out. Gentlemen, as of this moment, I am that second mouse.”

6. The RunDown:

“I feel like a little boy who’s lost his first tooth, put it under his pillow, waiting for the tooth-fairy to come. Only two evil burglars have crept in my window, and snatched it, before she could get here. [sidekick translates to villagers] Wait a second, do you understand the concept of the tooth-fairy? Explain it to them. [more translation] Wait. She takes the God damned thing, and gives you a quarter. They’ve got my tooth. I want it back.”


“This lion, is the king of the jungle, huge mane out to here. He’s laying down under a tree, in the middle of Africa. He’s so big. So hot. He doesn’t want to move. Now, the little lions come they start messing with him, biting his tail biting his ears, he doesn’t do anything. [...] Now, the other animals they notice. And they start to move in. The jackals, hyenas, they’re barking at him laughing at him. They nip his toes, and eat the food, and get in his domain. They do this, and get closer and closer and bolder and bolder ’til one day, that lion gets up and tears the shit outta’ everybody. Runs like the wind. Eats everything in his path, ’cause every once in a while, the lion has to show the jackals, who he is. It’s too late to be scared. It’s time to kill.”

8. Pulp Fiction:

“This watch was on your daddy’s wrist when he was shot down over Hannoi. He was captured, put in a Vietnamese prison camp. He knew that if the gooks ever saw the watch, they’d confiscate it, take it away. The way your dad looked at it, this watch was your birthright. He’d be damned if any slope’s gonna’ put his greasy yellow hands on his boy’s birthright. So he hid it, in one place he knew he could hide something: his ass. Five long years he wore this watch, up his ass.”

9. True Romance:

“You know, Sicilians, are great liars. The best, in the world. I’m Sicilian. My father was the world heavyweight champion of Sicilian liars. From growing up with him, I learned the pantomime. There are seventeen different things a guy can do when he lies, to give himself away. A guy’s got seventeen pantomimes. A woman’s got twenty, guy’s got seventeen. But, if you know them, like you know your own face, they’d be lie detectors all to hell. Now, what we got here, is a little game of show-and-tell: You don’t wanna’ show me nothing, but you’re telling me everything. I know you know where they are. So. Tell me. Before I do some damage, that you won’t walk away from.”

10. Man on Fire:

“A man can be an artist... in anything, food, whatever. It depends on how good he is at it. Creasey's art is death. He's about to paint his masterpiece.”

Christopher Walken – Saturday Night Life Best of (Shortened Skit) ‘More Cowbell!”

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